Sometimes, Those That’re Closest To You Are The Ones That Can Hurt You The Most

Getting attached and getting hurt, most of the time come together. That is why a separation is necessary.

To date, this is one of the hardest goodbyes I ever have to bid in my life (with exaggeration at maximum). I have become so fond of these buddies ever since the time and day I’ve met them. However as I have become accustomed to their presence day after day, I did not realize that they would be hurting me little by little – to worst. I didn’t know that being dependent on them all those days would put me in the pain I’m in right now. It was so agonizing that I wailed to death. Perhaps aside from being hurt, I felt deeply betrayed – that the ones I trusted the most would only cause me torture. That the ones I depended on the most would only leave me unimaginable torment. But as I gradually accepted the hurtful truth, the pain turned tolerable – although it’s not fully gone. It’s still there. Bitterly reminding me that I shouldn’t have trusted with my all. Sadly, I have to cut ties now with my everyday buddies to prevent repeating what was done. I know I won’t  be able to withstand the next wave. I barely made it after the first one, to be honest. No exaggeration intended, I swear. It was painful as much as the definition of painful was concerned.

So to my ear buddies, dear cotton buds,  I’m saddened to see you go, but I have to do this. I know you have given me delight with all those days you’ve spent cleaning my ears – every single day. I know we have grown the closest as time passed by. We’ve been cleaning partners all along. And I know I was partially at fault because I allowed this to happen despite all the pieces of advice that people gave me that it’s not good to have you all the days of the week. But I didn’t expect it to be this hurtful. It will be hard since I will still see you everyday but I need to avoid you as much as I can. This is for my own good. I don’t want to be locked up in a hospital room again, crying and wailing because of too much pain, having pain relievers and anti-inflammatory drugs of different dosages injected on me. I have always hated hospitals and the doctors who only show up because they are getting paid not because they are truly concerned about you. I have hated all the ingenuity of that place. I never wish to come back, for the same or whatever reason.

Goodbye, now buddies. May we all find peace following this separation. 

And yep. I’m discharged from that prison now but I’m still in pain. I’m given sets of medication to take while I’m out and is expected to come back after a week for a follow up check up. Hopefully, I get over this. But seeing that I am already able to write this emotional yet nonsense post, I think I’m good now. I’m sorry to have wasted your time. I just wanted to write it this way for a change (?) Though I doubt I served that purpose well. So to those who have prayed for me and sent me ‘Get Well Soon’ messages, thank you!

P.S. Never will I use cotton buds again to clean my ears, as advised. Or would it be right if I don’t clean them at all? Kidding! And thankfully, I am not restricted to do swimming, diving, and cliff jumping, yet. So life must still go on!

Jaa~

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